Hello, I’m Emma and I really, really, really love weddings. I love working at weddings, being at weddings, reading about weddings, talking about weddings; weddings, weddings, weddings. I’m also really frank. If you ask for my opinion on something, I won’t beat around the bush. My friends gave me a signed brick when I left school with SUBTLE written along the side. True story.
It’s hard to say exactly how many weddings I’ve worked on, but I reckon I hit the 150 mark this year. One of the most common questions I got asked when meeting with engaged couples was if I was married myself. Cue the common response, “no not yet, just co-habiting!” But on the 24th May 2015, when I was sitting on the sofa with my glass of wine after dinner with my pup sleeping at my feet, Robert got down on one knee during the advert break. For us, it was perfect. We spend many a weekend cooking, eating, on our sofa, drinking wine, watching rubbish tele and falling asleep. It’s our favourite way to spend an evening.
The first promise I had to make was that I’d give Robert a week’s breathing space before I would start banging on about our wedding. After all, he’d spent the weeks prior anxious about proposing, choosing the ring and plucking up the courage to ask my Dad’s permission. He got 6 days; on the 7th we booked our venue and date.
Like most couples, before we got engaged we’d already talked about getting married 15,602 times before and truthfully, we’ve never wanted the ‘big wedding’. We’ve been together for 6.5 years, we’ve lived together for over 4, we’ve got our mortgage and we’ve got our pup. Will being married change anything? Yep, my name and how our partnership is viewed in the eyes of the law. The next day we’ll likely be back on our sofa, watching too many reruns of Gavin and Stacey. We just might be doing it with some more champagne.
This day is about lawfully making you and me, us. Not about meeting expectations or doing what someone tells me I should do because it’s a wedding and that’s just what you do. Sorry, I’m not spending hundreds on a vintage car for 20 minutes; it’s just not important to me. Who even eats sugared almonds anyway? The average wedding spend in Scotland in 2014 was £20,723. If you’ve got that budget, that’s freaking sweet. But we don’t, and we’ve promised ourselves that we will not get into debt to celebrate the 2732nd day of us being a couple. (Google, yo.)
A wedding is not about having ‘the best day ever’, it’s about formalising and celebrating what is already the normal, everyday. Regardless of whether your napkins match your lipstick, it undoubtedly will be one of the best days of your life because you’ll be surrounded by all the love! (I say one of, because if I have THEE best day of my life at 27, that’s a bit depressing.) It’s not about whether you’re having what could be classed as a “budget wedding” or a “big budget wedding”, because it’s not about budget; it’s about value. Everything in this world is worth what you’re willing to pay for it and how much you value it. You can’t buy a cashmere jumper for the price of acrylic; please apply that logic to your wedding.
I probably do look at weddings from a more rational angle so we were quite confidently able to assign where we felt our money was going to be best spent. I’m going to be telling you our story of how we’re planning our wedding within our means, what we’re prioritising and where we’ve been willing to cut back without feeling hard done by.
With love and truth bombs,