our blogging groom | gimme gimme gimme. the perils of the gift list

There are many ways to plan a wedding.

Spend two years, from the moment the engagement ring is on the finger.

Worry about every detail and what could go wrong.

Pass the buck on to a wedding planner.

Sit back, relax and trust that it will all work out.

Pop the question and walk down the aisle two months later.

There are as many ways to do this as there are personalities doing it and there is no right or wrong way. Whatever works for you is what you’ll inevitably end up doing. Probably not by choice, it’s just what will come naturally. 

With the exception of the two month engagement though, there is something that will almost inevitably happen at some point during the course.

You will have nothing to do. People ask how it’s going and you don’t really have an answer. Fine, I guess...

There is, after all, only so much that you can do. Not before you get bored or tired, but before there aren’t really any things that need to be booked, made, conceptualised or whatever else you do.

This happened to us recently and it was an odd feeling. The things we do need to do are to be done closer to the wedding (which is getting real close, by the way!)

It did get us chatting about the ‘Wedding Gift List’. Which brought me out in a bit of a cold sweat. I have an odd (though I suspect not unusual) position on these.

I absolutely hate the idea of sending people a list of suggestions for what to buy us. Like, really really hate it.

BUT...

If I’m invited to a wedding as a guest, I DEFINITELY want one. No gift list means you’re probably getting a voucher. I’m not going to buy you another set of towels that you don’t need.

So, I’m not quite sure how to balance these two, fairly contrary positions.

On one hand, it feels a bit crass to me to ask for things. If 94 people show up to our wedding and dance and laugh and have fun, I really wouldn’t want anything more (honestly!)

Realistically though, people (myself included) wouldn’t think of showing up to a wedding empty handed. I’m not sure where that tradition of gift giving comes from, maybe to assist in setting up the new home of the couple. In 2016 I guess that’s less of an issue though.

We just got a new toaster in the January sales.

I’d really love to hear from anybody that’s had this dilemma before, and what you ended up doing. I can totally see the benefit, from both sides, of the gift list. Equally, I can see opinions on both sides of suggesting that cash is a better option than cutlery. Which, in a round-a-bout way, is what I think we’ve decided on.

We’re not having an extravagant honeymoon. In terms of the location anyway. We are however, taking advantage of our self-employed lives and spending a fair chunk of time later in the year driving across the USA. Our favourite option at the minute is to have a petrol (gas!) fund, to get us from coast to coast. I’ve been a guest at a couple of weddings recently and both have suggested in invites that a honeymoon fund donation is just the ticket, which is great as a trip to the bank is way less stressful than a trip to John Lewis.

As a very quick finish to this months post, a quick comment from some recent experiences of a working wedding supplier.

A recent wedding had the bomb dropped a few days before that they were going to be married in the middle of an 8000 person orange walk. The couple was stressed. There wasn’t anything to do and I was a little concerned. It was amazing. Genuinely a brilliant day.

A wedding in the very near future have just had some very sad news, meaning the wedding at this stage may be postponed. The couple are wonderful and it’s been great following their excitement build on Facebook, so I’m truly gutted for them. No doubt though the wedding will happen when it can.

The point being, you can plan a wedding any way you like and to the minutest of details, but you can’t plan life that carries on around it. Things will happen out with your control. Roll with the punches, stay strong and remember that, with or without the wedding you planned, smiling with the people close to you is the most important bit. 

Until next time...

Photos of happy people not caring about gifts by the man himself, Euan Robertson.